Pre-graduation jitters
Truly a love-hate relationship with Google Docs. I just lost all my progress from this morning T.T
Starting my days with this prompt: Good morning! Today is an opportunity to GET THINGS DONE. The adventure I am taking on today is finish!!! my!!! manuscript!!! for!! publication!!! I get to write about the work that I did over the past couple of years! How exciting!
Nothing like being awakened by your anxiety at 3 am and writing a bunch of sentences to ease it woot woot
"The goal is not be happy, but to be at peace with my emotions." Thoughts and feelings are only fleeting, it does not define who I am.
Good morning! Today is an opportunity to be kind to myself. The adventure I am taking on today is to work on this certain task that I have been putting off for the longest time. I get to finish years worth of work!
Starting my days with this prompt: Good morning! Today is an opportunity to _______. The adventure I am taking on today is _____________. I get to _____________!
I have time.
I am so tired of responsibilities 😭😭😭😭😭
I love love!
Started using Arc browser!
So hard to come back to a project that I have been putting off for the longest timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
kAPOya
Start of the 5-month social media hiatus! :)
Project idea: observing the PH seas using satellite Chl and SST data
I passed my master's thesis examination. The hard part is over!!! AAAAHHHH
Less than 3 weeks until D-DAY!
What happened to my vaccines? :(
I officially hate getting sick of COVID.
It’s only the 3rd day since my symptoms appeared and yet I am SOOOOOOOO over this whole thing. COVID SUCKS
Started my 2024 with COVID. 🫠 The part that I don’t like is where I lose sleep from intense headaches and clogged nose 😢
Day 1 of 366 - Caregiver mode: activated. It's almost 3 pm yet I haven't showered yet!
Happy New Year!
All you have is yourself
Kapoy nako sa tanan
Lord, grant me peace of mind. :(
Lord, grant me peace.
I have never felt so incompetent in my life. I am currently working on my thesis revisions, which made me realize I have so much to do and improve on. And yet still, I can't seem to have the time and focus to do all of them, all because I have responsibilities that are draining me physically and emotionally. Pagod na po ako.
I am so tired. I am so tired of responsibilities.
Lord, grant me the strength and clarity to work on my revisions.
Major manuscript revisions week!
"Graduate students are 6 times more likely to experience depression and anxiety than the general population." "Daughters caring for a parent recovering from a stroke are more prone to depression than sons, according to new research." -- Little reminders to give myself grace and to take deep breaths from time to time 🍃
Being kind to myself means acknowledging sad emotions but not allowing them to consume me.
Idk w yall but I think the reason why the world turned to shit after 2016 is because it was the year Frank Ocean last dropped an album
Tomorrow's agenda: just send the first manuscript draft!
Thesis time!
Health is truly wealth.
Simula sa Gitna.
Hintayan ng Langit.
Woke up at 3am just to work on my thesis hahahaha
Am I ever going to be good enough for research?
I notice that I am unusually sleepy when I have unmanaged anxiety :(
I am so sleepy :(
I love my dogs.
Honestly overwhelmed by the amount of knowledge I have yet to understand to finish this thesis
I don't like getting sick!
I had a terrible stomachache early this morning that dictated the rest of my day. Now's the only time I feel slightly better enough to work :( Health is truly wealth.
Sometimes I wonder if certain traumatic experiences held me back. Maybe I could have been further in my career. Or maybe not.
Navigating in Notion is the bane of my existence
I love it when my dogs are all rowdy with their play. It makes me think that they are truly enjoying their dog life.
Currently listening to this beautiful music.
I have never been so excited about my thesis!
Note to self: just. fucking. write!
Dealing with the cards that I've been dealt.
I'm starting to believe a huge factor why my Lola has reached her 90s is due to her faith.
Been feeling all sorts of emotions today. So, I decided to do a 30-minute movement meditation I learned back then from when I was doing therapy. I feel better!
I have been down the whole day. My stomach hurts so much!!!
I find Notion so overwhelming (vs. Obsidian, which I've been using for a while now) but I have to deal with it since we're using it for work :(
Lord, help me get through this. :(
Good morning! Today is a great day to work on my thesis manuscript :)
Spent some amazing days at Bali <3 Grateful for Chev always.
My favorite thing in the world is watching my dogs sleep so peacefully <3
Today I deactivated my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I remembered I went on for 3-4 months without it and I was fine. Maybe I'll come back when I finally finish my MS degree.
My dog doesn't realize she takes up all the space in my bed :(
Good morning! Today is an opportunity to enjoy life. The adventure I am taking on today is revising my draft of my thesis manuscript. I get to read about oceanography all day!
I am on Week 3 in The Science of Well-Being Course offered by Yale University on Coursera. I am so grateful I decided to take this! Apparently, this is the most popular course ever. I am looking forward to the next weeks.
Whenever I feel sad about "still" living with my family in my hometown, I try to shift my perspective and think about how lucky I am to spend more of my life with them.
There are so many things I want to do but at the same time, I don't want to do anything. The mind is weird.
I like thoughts, but sometimes it gets lonely here. I am thinking of starting a mastodon page.
Another gem from Lola Amour <3
I'm quite convinced that dogs can sense when you're sad and depressed because Mocha and Sky haven't left my side ever since
My minds all over the place
I am grateful for the people that are currently helping us out here at home.
Just enrolled myself in the Science of Well-Being class by Laurie Santos. It's free on Coursera!
Major stomachache!!!! Waaahhhh just when I thought I could finally drink milk :(
I am a firm believer that 20-minute brisk walks does wonders <3
Just what I needed to hear. Do less, become happier, says Yale cognitive scientist | Laurie Santos
Today I knew that my boyfriend stalks me on here. He says he reads my entries from time to time so he knows my disposition so he can act and respond accordingly. I have never been so grateful for him. It's nice to know someone is listening.
I have no logical reason to be sad, stressed, and tired. But right now I feel hopeless and numb. I just want to rest all day.
My current jam: Lola Amour's Raining in Manila
Will spend the rest of the month working on my manuscript!
Things are looking up. I am looking forward to the next two weeks!
Someday I will have reliable people around me.
Looking forward to the rest of July 2023!
Today I choose to not be a victim of my circumstance.
I noticed I get depressive thoughts when I am here at home.
Today is a great day to write.
Today is a great day.
It baffles me that there is no support for family caregivers here in the Philippines considering our culture's strong family ties. Caregiving is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting.
Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. Sometimes, I get jealous of my peers who didn't have to deal with family caregiving and the depression and anxiety that comes with it.
Today's focus: PAMS Extended Abstract. #onethingatatime
I really wonder why my thought patterns are different when I'm here at home.
My room is so much better now that I bought shelves and drawers to organize my things. I also bought a 6ft table that has the perfect height! Next up, organize/purge all of my clothing!
I feel like if I don't schedule my day by the hour I would end up procrastinating all day.
I want to leave the country.
Everyday my default mode is: I need to get my shit together
Today was a lovely day. Hung out with my boyfriend Chev 💓 I am so grateful he's my best friend.
I'm now debt-free 😭😭😭
It's already 8pm but I badly want to drink coffee. :( Is this....addiction?
Life here at home is getting better. I am truly grateful.
Every day is an opportunity to improve. I am not a victim of my circumstance. I can reset, realign, and adapt.
My garden is up and running! Well, it's still empty. There are also some bugs I still need to fix. I made it using Quartz. I also use Obsidian to write its content. Check it out here!
I am on my own timeline. :)
Maybe I should get caregiving training.
Brand new week! The only thing I'm looking forward to this week is finally seeing my boyfriend.
I remember one time I said "I need coffee" and then some guy (I forget who) told me "Do you want to die early" I'm like ???????? wat
Trying to mimic my daily routine in Diliman here at home.
It makes me sick that some "influencers" nowadays actively make hurtful and controversial comments just so the media can pick them up and they can increase their engagement.
It's kind of ironic that I'm even more itching to create now that I've deactivated my Facebook and Instagram.
Embracing the chaos.
Today was a great day. I think we finally figured out the arrangement here in the household. Also, I met up with my friends. I haven't seen them for so long!
I'd like to clarify my entry last Jun 13, 2023 - 10:15AM: "The past two days were challenging. I guess I'll have to accept that I am going back to my role as a caregiver than spend the day in frustration and self-pity." I am not looking down on caregiving. In fact, I think it is such an honorable job. What I meant was more of how I see myself being forced to that role and shelving own plans and dreams for the time being.
Ever since I got home, my progress on my thesis has been slow. I couldn't figure out exactly why, but I'm leaning toward the fact that I have so many things to do and take note of, that I get anxious and overwhelmed.
Listening to NIKI's Tiny Desk Concert. So proud of her <3
In other news, my eye is 99% healed! It's not any more painful when I close my eye. But, there's still a tiny lump in my upper eyelid from the inflammation.
The past two days were challenging. I guess I'll have to accept that I am going back to my role as a caregiver than spend the day in frustration and self-pity.
I manually took the gel nail polish off my toes because they were already ugly and I don't plan on getting them done anytime soon. Now my toenails look dead.
My room's a mess, I'm still dealing with a nasty eye infection, and I have a thesis manuscript to write. One day at a time.
I will be working today with a total of 1 functioning eye. Styes suck.
Listening to V I N C E N T by FKJ. My favorite track is Brass Necklace with (((O))).
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